heart shaped pink and purple flower garden
Photo by shahbaz Akram on

Every new beginning has a past on its tail. My first love was never to be mine and accepting that was a big weight on my shoulders. Life however has a funny trend of throwing us cards of luck or flowers when we least expect. My timeless love was a celebration of life, mine, hers and everyone around me. She reminded me how listen to love and believe its never really lost until its gone which she did.

I met her in a way I felt was scripted. I was off on an errand in the estate shop caring the whole world on my back. I look at myself now and reminisce back then its like magic has been happening. I had purchased the goods sort for and was heading on my way back to my sorry life when an angel opened my eyes to spectacular possibilities. I had tripped and almost fell were it not for Amina who saved me the humiliation of landing on the ground by offering her back for mine.

I had sunk so much in my nonsensical thoughts not caring to notice this art of creation facing me. She exhaled as if to writhe in pain and I admit my head riled for a moment but the minute her breath met my presence it gave me life. Her small eyes begged for mercy and never before had I been humbled by such an innocent face. I knew there was a story hidden by those Tutsi lips but whatever the price, I had to be part of it.

A piercing voice slapped me to reality commanding me off my angel. Oh is it the  devil? I thought the doors of paradise are open to eternity and immortality. I dragged myself to sober uprightness before checking on her oh special her. She wouldn’t hold my hand and thats when I saw two older women coming to her aid. I felt a sting of betrayal from her refusal of my help and for some reason I felt I know her. She was always there I just never noticed. I was about to apologize when a rude slap almost threw me off balance. I later got to learn that was her favorite aunt. The eyes that met me after that were bitter. My words could not wash the pain away.

On that night her diamond eyes kept calling me. I literally could not eat or rest. There was this music she had  stirred in my system whose beats were completely alien to me. Her aunts left without a word but her look of pain was something else I just did not understand. My next course of action was to be expected. She  was after all literally the girl in my dreams. I became a common face to the watchman Mbeleki and my feet a frequent visitor to the routes not forgetting strictly forbidden plantations. I took the risk then and if I had the chance to I”ll do it again.

Weeks went without number. I became scared watching them turn to months. I stopped counting with the weak hope of a miracle. I even reconnected with my religious path and worshiped Un comparatively. Oh seek the lord and all the other glamour shall follow you. It was one of those days I was from church that I saw her. She was with a small girl by her side and her beauty turned the roadside into a glorious scenery. She could turn any ocean into eyes with her smile. That was a mile to end wars and I wasn’t taking any chances on her whether my dad was present or not.

I reached to her almost short of breath from the running but with a will to make it worthwhile. Her moods changed since her eyes were now fixated on me  in disgust. I reached for her hand in vain. She drew back. I felt like as if she had plucked a page from my favorite book. I poured out my apology in an emotionally unstable way uncontrollably. My words danced from an honest sorry to a show of concern then to affection. She screamed, help! help! help! My church members close by became the rescuers, my dad among st them and that is when I noticed she was wearing a hijab. I fainted.

I had never seen the sun shine brighter in my room until this date. I was awake and she was in my room. If words could describe the immediate sensation  she brought to me trust me I would have married these words. She had cleared the air on my behalf and never had I seen her so terrified. She spoke judging better words had escaped my lips.

I was awake partially to hear her mention something about caring about me. A part of me felt I HAD BEEN DYING TO HEAR THESE WORDS. She spoke with sincerity and pure concern as I listened to her in the name of love. Every bit seemed too magical to be true. My sences were in the most relaxed state and if there were words to describe what I felt I  would have married them by the second. I flew in love and I could not hide it anymore.

“I just want to know you.” These words were a baby born out of love , they stopped her in her tracks. I had never been sure of anything such as these in my life. Whether it was the moment or not I had to repeat them again and again looking deep into her eyes like the first time. Her heart was gold and for anything I had become her first patient. I loved my parents for adjusting to her presence in the house and compromising with my state at the moment. My luck had just began.

She made it on time  day after day each day with a flower and a new song. In Uganda love music is the elixir to immortality. I learnt to laugh from the heart. She taught me how to cuddle and live life simply. I recovered sooner than expected but always cooked an excuse to have her around. Who could have blamed me she was my everything and nothing too.

Our relationship became a celebration of us and more to it I enjoyed it. One question still lingered in my mind, would her aunts have the same view of me like she had come to have…



Published by brayolam

Very fun, loving and caring. Writing is my life and the ultimate door to self-expression. My viewpoints may fail to concur with ideologies spread across mainstream society but fuck it thats just the ways I see it, freedom.

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