The heart of love

“I dont know much but I love you,” she said.  “I know that I LOVE YOU and that is all I

woman looking at sunset
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need to know.” We spoke from our hearts, Amina was my peace and I was that storm she loved. “Its time they know where I spend most of my time.” She was very right with this. I had intentionally avoided this but was I going to say no to her?

She set the date and I chose my best clad. I even recited the words to apologize. I even prepared myself psychologically on missing my best program. I guess we all make sacrifices at some point. I had never seen her so happy and it made me twice scared to be the one to kill that smile. We were young and probably out of our senses but our hearts were decided.

I met her cold eyes again by the gate-side to their palatial abode. Her aunt oh! it was really her.  I was almost escaping from my body itself but Amina kept on holding my hand almost squeezing my fingers. I knew she was scared too. Her aunt slapped me again but this time I almost retaliated. What was my crime?

She looked at me with pain I could not relate too, if anything I had never felt such before. Amina moved to my defense and started off with sighn language gestures. Her aunt was deaf but mean,I thought. If she thought that was enough to send me miles from this rare beauty she had something else coming. They kept the ‘private talk’ for some minutes while I was on the floor at least perceiving the scent of my chosen one.

I got up after what I saw was a smile across. Her aunt looked at me with a smile amidst flowing tears. I felt left out but everything brightened up when Amina looked at me again more relaxed and very beautiful. She closed her eyes and collapsed before me. I thought this was an act until she started forming from her mouth. I trembled with confusion. Luckily her aunt let me in the house as I assisted carrying her into the house.

My whole mode of a rational approach to issues was reduced to tear after tear from my eyes. I wish I had words to explain what this dark moment felt like but again I wish I could forget. I looked around her family, some her friends I supposed. No one could be her even for a second. I needed her to just open her eyes at least again.

“what is wrong with her?” those words just escaped my lips. I felt a chocking sensation on my throat and the sour taste on my lips turned to bitter. “SHE HAS SICKLE CELL ANEMIA… SHE IS GOING.” Halima her cousin told me. what would my world be without her?  Is it really true? Death does not need add other angels in heaven  because she cant go she never told me about this.

I waited, evening came without notice. I felt her hands grow cold thrust on mine but I assumed its the cold and so I gave her cover with my sweater. I sang her songs. I told some of her best stories. She was confirmed dead at 8:30 pm.

Amina may have wanted me to know her family that day or maybe she just wanted to say goodbye the best way she knew how. I had to see her going six feet under in that casket for me to finally believe it was over. She was a heart to love and she did leave me her family to love……..

person standing near lake
Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on

Published by brayolam

Very fun, loving and caring. Writing is my life and the ultimate door to self-expression. My viewpoints may fail to concur with ideologies spread across mainstream society but fuck it thats just the ways I see it, freedom.

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