The paint of love

white and red plastic heart balloon on sky during daytime
Photo by Pixabay on

When you loose someone you love, it naturally takes time to heal. In other cases healing seems to be just impossible. This was exactly my case. I hallucinated a lot and really dropped in my grades. I wanted nothing if not to go where Amina was. Her name still made ferries come to life.

I could not end my frustrating life but I COULD BE CLOSE TO THE PEOPLE SHE WAS CLOSE TO and so as relief I occasionally paid my new family visits.  Its surprising to state although I was off to people who had known me before her like family I was the best cheer guy around Amina’s folks. Her grandma even played games with me.

I brought gifts like she used to when I was sick and I became closer to her  twin brother. She said she lost her mom shortly after her birth. Her dad had died a month before. Her and Abdi were close than a branch to a stem. I figured out the heart torn girly boy needed  a friend. They resembled and this was all the consolation I needed.

It took weeks before I started smiling with anyone from my family but it happened because of the book my new friend bought me,’ the spirit of life.’ I dont remember the author but the positivism I vowed to carry on to eternity. I lurked in the dark and found hope when I least  expected. I learnt to paint love.

Abdi was a painter. His craft had been perfected to my liking. I became his special subject of art. He would plead like a little girl which he indeed looked like. I pretended not impressed by his marvelous work but men I loved every bit of it especially my portrait collection.

We watched football together made fun of each other and at times even got bored together. I need mention, I had never been this close to another guy before. I thought of it as insane but he understood me and knew me more than I did myself. I got short tempered at times but to him it was just a blissful wind, nothing he couldn’t handle.

“I AM IN LOVE…” I trembled when this words came out of my lips. His eyes were fixated on  me but his gaze mischievous as always. “With God?” He asked. “I WISH.” He brought dinner and we had it in his room as had become the routine. I wanted to confess a lot of things and tell a lot of dreams I envisioned coming to reality. Was I crazy? My heart was but my  spirit was in the right place and that cooled me down I slept after reading him his favorite book. He was already a sleeping beauty.

Two weeks passed, we met at our favorite chilling spot on a Saturday.  My mind was relaxed I was already happy we would do painting the whole day. He was overjoyed seeing me. We hugged then he kissed my lips.I was surprised but I kissed back. My mind almost blew away. I looked into his eyes for a second and kissed again. He pulled out and asked if I was ready to paint. We were already painting love,I wanted do nothing else…

affection black black and white black men
Photo by Joshua McKnight on








Published by brayolam

Very fun, loving and caring. Writing is my life and the ultimate door to self-expression. My viewpoints may fail to concur with ideologies spread across mainstream society but fuck it thats just the ways I see it, freedom.

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